The players

2024 No longer our lowest handicap golfer, and that might be just what he needs to secure a second championship. His stats are incredible and he’s always in and around the top of the leaderboard. Just as long as he doesn’t find himself in a taxi to Marbella on Saturday night.

2023 Such a nice guy that last year’s antics haven’t affected him too much. Runner-up two years on the bounce; that second title is just around the corner.

2022 Another solid performance from our lowest handicapper in 2021, second after a three-way fight on the final day. The Portuguese weather should suit Mr Steady.

2021 Back after a year out. Mr Consistent has recorded top-five finishes in all of his last three appearances. Expect him to be right in the mix again at Hayling.

2024 His first tour since Le Touquet in 2016, where he finished 4th. I’m sure we’ll find out why it took so long over a few Cruzcampos at the bar. All I hope is that his chainsaw grip hasn’t replaced the golf grip.

2024 Hopefully, unlike his beloved Gooners, he can get over the line this year and notch his third title.

2023 Finding form at just the right time. Some would say he’s back! All I will say is chaps, make sure your golf balls are marked PRE-ROUND.

2022 Not a fan of the new WHS handicap system, but prepared and ready to go. Golf in the US and a good warm-up at the Beacon; expect him back near the top of the leaderboard.

2021 Mr Organisation, newly promoted to the board, has put on another fantastic tour. I’m hoping we don’t lose him to the R&A any time soon. Ask Tubby about the shopping bag…

2024 Mr Chels. A single-figure golfer from Chislehurst GC, I expect him to settle nicely into tour life. He’s sacked Saturday night off to watch Bournemouth. Up the Cherries!

2024 Olly’s brother has certainly got the bug for golf. I hear he’s played more times this year than his brother has in 15 years. Lots of shots to play with, so a few decent passages of play and he could be jumping up the leaderboard.

2023 A rookie, down from Leicester (technically a foreigner, he lives so far away). Committed himself thoroughly to the game recently, so much so he might be wearing double wrist supports on the first tee.

2024 Brother of Dean and also out of Chislehurst GC. He can get the little white ball around with ease at times, so the rest of us will be hoping the post-round entertainment plays with his scoring. One tip for tour: don’t get in a taxi with Anton.

2024 With fellow board member Si ‘Greedy’ Holland not attending this year, there’s some breathing room on the appearance chart for the man with the most appearances. I hate to think of the savings he could have made if he hadn’t been on 19 golf tours. As they say, it’s only money.

2023 The Chairman is in it for the appearance stats. Catch him if you can, boys. The Algarve is his second home, so local knowledge should treat him well.

2022 Some would say he blew it last year: a comfortable lead going into the final day, before the links of Hayling put an end to a fourth title very quickly.

2021 Missed out by a point last year in his hunt for win number four. The new WHS system has definitely been kind to the Chairman this year.

2024 A few shots better off than last year. What I do know is that a horse with pedigree and a good handicap is a bet worth making. Expect this man to go well.

2023 Our youngest member, fast becoming a tour veteran. Not quite back to his best, but that won’t stop ‘big Murrie’; he is a warrior. I think he might notch his first win this year.

2022 Great to have him back! As they say, be wary of the injured golfer. With two knees or one, he’s still a threat.

2024 The Man City of the golf tour, winning most of the modern-day titles, he’s joined the elite with three victories to his name. The secret is that he doesn’t play between tours: the golf bag stays in the travel bag!

2023 His motto of no golf until tour took a big hit this summer with 54 holes at one of England’s finest courses within a month. The finder of all our great nights out on tour; just hope the taxi drivers are more qualified this year.

2022 The media circus that followed his back-to-back wins ended up being too much for him, but a solid Sunday at Hayling meant he finished 4th. His new ethos of playing only on tour continues.

2021 Like a red bus: waiting ages for a tour win, then two arrive in quick succession. The first person to win back-to-back since 2008, and now the holder of the most day wins. A brand-new driver on the first tee this week.

2024 The third musketeer of the rookies. Looking at the EGU app, he’s played more times this year than the board combined (not too difficult, as Tubby only plays three times a year). A member at Sidcup GC.